CAPITOL HILL ON HIGH ALERT:

17 Apr

There is this ONE door I have entered through for years. Post joint I learned to pray this one guard isnt there. His buddy sits back and lets him be the front man, he stands tall and bald like Mr. Clean. My prior PJ experience with him was he holds me at the door until he finds a female USCP. Took almost 45 minutes. Its not as if you can walk in, be told to stand aside… toe tap, toe tap, toe tap and then decide to book it. I gave him full right to pat my hip down. Ever see a bald man blush? PRECIOUS with a capitol T.ou

Bad call when I walked through the door and he was there. I had 1/2 hour to make it to Cannon and back. You would think he would accept a wand wave and an offer to pat me down and up? No…… he called out for a woman cop. I had seen one walk in concert into Dirksen with me. His partner brought her back.

O M G. I have NEVER EVER EVER had a pat down like that except in privacy and with consent and NEVER by a woman. She went places up under around and hard. SINCE WHEN did a pat down give a CAP COP permission to finger up under over the top and round the  bottom with the heavy hand she used. Been there done that. Take a lesson from the Brits, pat downs are down with sweeps of the back of the hand. Taught her a lesson though in that us old girls go hardwire. I think I broke her manicure covering her nails.

What I didnt expect? Was the full finger up and at em’ between the legs. THANK GOD FOR SPANX. Her pushing got her nowhere as any real woman knows that Spanxy is like a trampoline gone south….

In my world NEVER….. I did bust the baldie on his getting his jollies…. OF COURSE I had to ask OUT LOUD if it was good for him since it wasnt for me. OF COURSE I asked if he did this to every joint replacement who walked through the door. He said yes. HEAD COUNT- ask the girl cops how many times they are called over….. The advance for who ever was coming through the door was watching. Short of a stripper pole, it was quite the show. Next time? All I need is the bump and grind music with a place to put the dollars I deserved for the show…..

OMG….

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One Response to “CAPITOL HILL ON HIGH ALERT:”

  1. Alan Smason April 17, 2013 at 7:29 pm #

    Sorry about that, Carrie. The manufacturer of Spanx might be looking for a testimonial.

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