12 Jan


Yesterday I officially ‘buried’ my car. I turned in its tags at the DC DMV. Imagine my surprise when the on-the-ball receptionist noticed that from the day I registered the car with DC that I was driving with two different plates FRONT & BACK. I could not provide her with the correct name on the plate number she was looking at. It wasn’t my name. It wasn’t the prior owners name. THAT EXPLAINED IT.

My car was a magnet for street tickets. I had become so adept at fighting my tickets I helped my sons girlfriend with her tickets. My best… the VOGUE WEDDING MAGAZINE DEFENSE. She had parked at a meter. She came to help me. I needed help at that time. She came out to her car. Her car was ticketed for PARKING MORE THAN 18 INCHES FROM THE CURB. Yes it seems there is a law like that on the books in DC. Well I didn’t have a ruler but as an older woman I have learned over the years what (cough) 9 inches isn’t (sorry guys). Oh don’t go there. I was a graphic illustrator for career birth through childbirth. You learn soon enough to gauge with your eye inches (my forum) not feet or yards. 

Thinking quickly seeing the WEDDING MAGAZINE on her car back seat I had her pull the magazine out then drop it between the curb and car tire… SNUG SNUG SNUG… took the pic. Once inside we took a $1 bill put it vertical to the magazine bottom. Took the pic. I wrote up her defense. Printed her pictures then sent them into the Department of Motor Vehicles DC. Voila! One of many ticket successes fought and won based upon facts and documentation. Ask and I will tell…..

Well, back to the DMV, getting in to the room people are first filtered through was a trip in itself. A very authorative security guard was processing people through security telling people to leave space for the door as the line was long and snaked the perimeter of the walls and the cording leading to her. It was the young man (my luck) right in line before me that impressed me. She kept his bag going back & forth back & forth. Holding the line where it was she skillfully directed him around her back to the line side of the magnomater handed his backpack to him with direction to take it outside and address his bag. Another person on line whispered KNIFE. What a cool & skillful contrast to the day before at the IRS on Constitution Avenue when the security guard let a NON IRS EMPLOYEE BUT OUTSIDE CONTRACTOR in to the building then about ten minutes later she exited then five minutes reentered with a STARBUCKS cup in her hand AND HE DID NOT MAKE HE GO THROUGH SECURITY AGAIN. Life lesson being the IRS will be the DEATH of us and the DMV will keep us going & going & going. 

It got better when the reality was paperwork in the system had shown multiple addresses on the car I owned hence tickets that I corresponded over AND RECEIVED CONFIRMATION OF were sent out of state (or in our case the District). You know what I don’t like. I don’t like when people who have nothing to do with a situation you are intimate with look at a computer screen and argue THE COMPUTER SAYS. Ummmm no. Computers are inanimate. PEOPLE SAYS and this person MOI said there was a letter as required NOTARIZED that was presented in to the system that should be there.

I learned a while back that DC agencies were told to convert from paperwork to online systems. In its GRAND POOBAH wisdom DC will pay for fancy middle of the road gardens to make the District pretty for the INAUGURATION but wont cough up caching change to buy ample scanners for their departments as was needed before dispersing of the historic paper files. Turns out decisions were made to DUMP paper files and histories on reference papers, histories on whatever had been brought to question. Seems word from the MAYOR VINCENT GRAYS office was to start putting from 2010 forward online. Problem is the DCRA had one scanner. Ever scanned papers? Sorta like watching your Pet Rock not move for days. The people it seems EDITED their interpretation of the data. This is a great cost to the DISTRICT.

This amazing woman came in to the conversation. With a deftness of expertise allowed matters to be revisited. She was stunned at the plates with two different numbers. She was THANKFUL for the compliments to the sharp eyed receptionist and for the security guard that deserves civic employee of the year award for catching the knife, getting it out of the DMV building without a scare to everyone there. My moment of awkwardness came when in the process the cashier asked if this DIVA was dark like her or light skinned. As a Caucasian journo in a PC world gone wild how the heck could I answer that question without fearing I would be called racist. So I said that is an uncomfortable question to ask me as I don’t see color. I saw a beautiful professional woman about yay high with should length black hair Grey suit and very impressive. The cashier knew who she was. How awkward to be asked about color in a culture that if a Caucasian is called on the carpet based upon the interpreter. 

It would be neat though if the people on line were treated to a history of the building within which they were standing on top of a map embedded in the floor showing DC as it once was.                                                         

The EMBASSY Signage is being addressed. YET AGAIN. I connected to my DDOT contact. Funny you wrote he emailed. Was thinking about you. AND coincidentally pre-inauguration we are back to dealing with STATE on parking….. two years later after I outed the EMBASSY PARKING only at the retail outlet CASH COW for DC on WISCONSIN Avenue….. 


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