20 Dec

Do you really want to know what the families of the Newtown 27 want? I will tell you. I know. I know what it is like to watch the world do the profit & ratings dance on our dead while their bodies are warm.

Take their photos off the Internet Airwaves Cellphone instant messaging Instagram Pinterest Twitter Blogs Facebook pages Sites that sell our data like it is theirs Congressional Website Government websites and off the Talking points of Pundits & Politicos (presidents included ). They are our dead not yours. We did not give you the right to rape their identities by splashing photographs of our dead everywhere & anywhere to sensationalize your news cycles or to make Government look ‘governmental’ using our murdered ones photos on ‘Memorial pages’ from which alleged Charities Non profits & strangers we don’t know & never talked to before our loss became news go on to rape their memories in the name of Awareness & Fundraising. They are ours not yours. Stealing their identities is not the Charitable nor Faith thing to do. Ask our permission. If we want to stand holding our loved ones photo in our embrace to show the world how much they are loved? That is our choice. If we say no? Respect our wishes by not skulking around to others just to make your on camera shot or byline more sensational with their headshot.

Help us protect our murdered from the likes of them.

Keep away self serving sanctimonious politicians who never cared to meet our murdered while they were vibrant & alive until this opportunity for a political bump came along. The politicians weren’t there for our murdered’s Nightmares Graduations Birthdays Blessings Failures & Successes Fears & Tears & hugs.

Help us protect our murdered from the likes of them.

AND STOP!!!! Stop with planning Memorials for them while their blood is still warm in our hearts While their scent is still on their sweaters & Teddy Bears While we seem them around every corner we walk While we see them walking up the street before remembering that isn’t them They are murdered & gone. This moment of their murder isn’t real to us. It may never be. Our memorials are their Rooms their Notes their Emails their Toys their Tales their Photos Moments we struggle to not forget as life goes on. It does. They don’t. It will take a lifetime to accept that as media sensationalism runs their horrific death over & over & over again in 24/7 news cycles for ratings except our murdered aren’t ratings to us. They are real. They are our blood spilled in moments that stop us cold & leave us hurting because we cant protect them from the likes of you using their name or clip over and over when you have points to make or agendas to further. They aren’t agendas. They are our dead. You want to make a political point do it when their murder isn’t fresh in our face while their blood isn’t warm. Do it when we are ready IF or Ever.

Get this once & for all. As Family? We will for ever be haunted wondering what we could have done better or different or not at all to spare them from that Moment. We will be wishing God given us a Two Minute Warning to take their place which we would have done a heartbeat. Instead we are left with you Pariahs creeping in to our lives pretending to care even stretching motions of Empathy until it is time to ‘Cut To Commercial’ or until more sensational news happens & then we are left hurting twice as hard, our hearts hurting deeper from your cut of insensitivity. In time we realize we were just sound bytes you needed. Here’s one…. Keep your News Cycle away. Stay away from our dead. Don’t do the Prime Time shuffle on their grave let alone while their blood is still warm. This isn’t the time. It may never ever be.

This isn’t the time to ask us what we will do from this moment forward. I have never been a survivor of slaughter before. I have never suffered tragedy, let alone a tragedy like this. I don’t know how to not fall apart when someone says “I am sorry.’ For what? You didn’t do this. Someone know one will ever know did this. All the speculation Online all the time hurts us so deeply we need to hide from your ongoing jibber jabber about something you know nothing about unless someone from behind the scenes was feeding you Research Scripted words & Telling you when & when to stop & Start. Stay away us until we understand how to handle Faces of Pity or Aversion of eyes or Pain from some we know is real. We know without having to be told you wont be here in a year from now or four or twelve or when I am old & gray & our loved one hasnt grown a moment older than they are this day their blood ran warm. Stop seeking surrogates, people we know or don’t know about our dead. They are sorry replacements for your getting us on camera or in Voice Bits in this tragic moment of our sadness the world is part of.

You really want to do something? Tell those sanctimonious politicians to do right by our dead. Respect them. Keep pariahs off them. Stop fundraising in their names before it starts by people or alleged Charities we dont know or will find out about until its too late or the money gathered under false pretenses has been Diverted Stolen or Abused. Prevent their names & or birthdates being sold without our permission on Dog tags or Bracelets or IDS with their names engraved on items the purchaser thinks we approved of being sold or fundraised with. Tell people charities have to be registered with their State & or Federal government. Tell well intentioned people to look the Charity up on Anyone can build a website. Not everyone is a legitimate law abiding charity. Even fewer have permission or blessing to exploit our dead.

You want to know the truth about Memorials? I’ll tell you. I photograph them. Money that is raised isn’t always accounted for or well spent or spent on our dead. Memorials get Forgotten Neglected Abandoned Dirty eventually becoming a thing of the past even Tour Leaders don’t stop at eventually torn down for development of one type or another eventually becoming a thing of Publics past forgotten or painted over or Torn up Torn down or just bulldozed. Their murder is my present each and every day until I die. The Memorial would never become a thing of my past. I would feel the obligation to be part of the public pageantry even though I want to be on my own in Memorial. And I would feel obligated to maintain something I didn’t initiate being installed, the one who will remember to wash the dirt off the plaque on the wall they are named on or being the one who makes time to take the weeds out & pick up the trash left there.

Whatever you do, don’t make your Memorial include a ceremony that become a national moment of silence that you expect us survivors to attend. Give us a chance to move forward. Don’t use us for political performance every year that in time people wont have time for or desire to go to because the loss is never had a connection to our innocent we miss making their murders a mockery that in time City councils State or Federal governments debate when they cant or don’t want to afford to continue but don’t know how to politely stop. Oh sure, you will find some distant relative or another who may have met them while they were kids or someone who may be able to tell you something about them when they went to the same school or lived in the same neighborhood that will welcome you flying them around in your events to Make moments Fundraise at parlor meetings & the like. Funny that we don’t have a memory of that person who goes on Air or TV citing memories of our murdered.

Make their murders worth something. Let our murdered live on for eternity. Make the law protecting Identities of Murdered same from Theft from Exploitation from being abused within seconds of the news breaking. None of us were able to prevent this moment from happening. Don’t make a Memorial of stone that will sunset as their memory fades. Do stop the dancing on their graves while their blood is warm. Leave their final waltz to us…….

NOTE: Within hours of Devorahs brothers murder by terrorists international charities like One Family Fund were circulating his copyrighted stories around the globe without written permission or without license from his widow. Letters solicited in his name were never accounted for to his survivors. It is the way of the world. His photo was pulled from the Israeli governments website featuring a Ner Tamid an Eternal Light Israeli government officials asked what she expected them to do. Derech Eretz. The way of the land- respect- ask permission. Chezi Goldbergs photo remains on the Israeli governments website, used on posters, for charities in protests & for college incitement. Her brother’s portrait is now with permission in the embrace of a Camp in Maryland where the bus her brother was murdered on ended up, as life goes. Shivah, the Prayer For the Dead, was finally recited over the murdered on Egged Bus 19 January 29 2004

Let Congress hear your thoughts on IDENTITY THEFT of murdered & dead,,


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